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A Megabucks slot machine at McCarran Airport McCarran Airport in Las Vegas has over 1300 slot machines scattered all around the airport terminal in various sections, with about 100 machines in each section. You can't miss them! Nothing says 'Las Vegas' like seeing these slot machines and hearing the bells and whistles of the games when you get off the plane when arriving in Las Vegas.
The airport in Las Vegas is riddled with shiny slot machines blinking with LED lights; beeping and blooping the promise of an electronic windfall of endorphins. Frank Sinatra sings, faintly instilling the nostalgia of what we imagine is the essence of the romance of the Vegas strip.
Being morning, the machines mostly call out to passers by, sitting unloved in their clusters near the expensive pizza place and the diner with the smell of onion rings wafting into the crowds of semi-socially distanced travellers. The machines call out, along with the Polish lady selling perfume at the portable kiosk of beauty products.
And then I see her— the goddess of the slots — she sits with one foot on the ground, and the other raised above her navel and planted against the machine — her stomach fat compressed into rolls under her bright pink t-shirt. She’s wearing a rhinestone encrusted baseball cap with “Las Vegas” printed across the front of it. She’s been there for a while — no one sits like that in the first 10 minutes, do they?
Her husband stands behind her, vacantly watching his wife pursue the orgasmic jingle of the payoff.
What is this man thinking about, watching her? Did he bring his wife to the city of sin to respark their love of adventure? Did he hope this flight to Las Vegas might draw them closer?
No. He must only be along for the ride. She found the plane tickets, and got a deal on the hotel. He'd rather be tinkering in the garage with something he can control.
But here they are, losing.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Especially the slot machines, who call out 24/7 like sirens to weakened sailors blinded by the beautiful songs they sing; you losers could be winners, should you cozy up to the warmth of my hopeful promise.
As a disciple to the math that surrounds all forms of gambling, there are only a few good things I have to say about the slot machines.
They require no thought, can provide a short-term jackpot that’s unattainable in most other games, and they are undeniably fun.
In the end though, they will take all of your money and are physically programmed to return about 90 cents of every dollar put into them, but that’s doesn’t mean I’m totally immune to their temptations.
A recent layover in Las Vegas provided two hours to hit the machines because, hey, it’s all they have inside the airport (although a poker room would be a huge hit). And it provided a scenario that allowed an opportunity to actually answer one of the most common questions to hit my inbox.
Can you ever win at McCarran International?
The machines have a notorious reputation as that last ounce of blood money to be squeezed from the wallets of outgoing tourists. At certain casino properties, the slot payout percentages are openly advertised, although this is getting rarer by the day. The airport staff won’t tell you theirs either, because, frankly, they have no idea because there are more than 1,300 units spread throughout the facility. All the attendant could tell me was they were regularly inspected by state regulators.
I’ve probably spent more than 40 hours waiting for flights inside the terminals without ever hearing the rings of a super jackpot.
But they do happen.
According to a report from winthebet.com, six-figure wins aren’t overly rare, and a record $3.9 million jackpot was hit on a “Wheel of Fortune” progressive machine inside a terminal. The same attendant who couldn’t tell me the payouts admitted she did witness a $350,000 win her third month into the job.
There is a teeny, tiny bit of bad news that comes with winning big, though. You’ll probably miss your flight and have to book another one after doing the required paperwork.
So with my two hours to burn, I plopped a $50 bill into a “penny” machine that is legally allowed to be grossly mislabeled when the minimum bet was 80 cents per spin (that increased in those increments) with the option for as much as $3.20 max-bet spin.
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I forget the name of the game, but it had a vibrating seat and was Aztec themed, had 3-D graphics and a tree frog shot balls out of its mouth at targets while the traditional slot reels churned combinations.
The minimum was wagered the first 10 spins as I settled into the game, with only a few free spins won. But it looked like something was about to happen, so I pressed to the 160 bets to chase the losses and my $50 was down to about $10.
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That was when the first good payout hit, about $35, getting almost back to even.
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I pressed again to the 240 after another dose of nothing spins. The machine went slightly insane, spewing coins into my till at a feverish pace.
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I applied my gambling math wits and cashed out for about $100. A small profit that’s nothing to brag about, but in the world of notoriously stingy airport slots, any win is a win.
cblount@express-news.net
Las Vegas Airport Slot Machines
Twitter: @chuck_blount